Does this sound like you?

You’re tired of avoiding people. You feel alone, afraid of being hurt again, and ashamed of what you’ve been through. You’re starting to realize your old ways of coping just are not longer cutting it…and may even be making things worse.

You grab your coffee and drive to work, focusing on the day ahead. You show up to your meetings, flash an empty smile, and meet your deadlines. You’re living your life, but people don’t really know what you’ve been through. Nobody notices that you’re barely holding it together. In fact, they praise you for your performance and you accept, telling yourself, “If I can fool them, maybe I can fool myself.” 

But…when your mind wanders freely and you let yourself think about it, you can’t shake the thoughts: “No, that didn’t happen. It wasn’t that bad. You’re being dramatic.” And yet somewhere inside you know the truth; you just don’t dare to acknowledge it. You tell yourself, “If I ignore it, maybe it’ll go away.” But it hasn’t gone away.

When the thoughts weasel their way back to your consciousness, you numb out. It could be alcohol, relationships, work, school, anything not to have to feel. Feelings have become your phobia.

And speaking of fear – you hate not knowing who to trust. People are scary. You wonder if there’s anyone out there who won’t hurt you. In fact, you’re not even sure if you can trust yourself to have healthy relationships or make good choices. So you’ve become an expert on maintaining status quo – don’t make waves – don’t feel – don’t trust – hide.

Hiding has worked for a while, but somehow something is nagging at you to get help. Perhaps you’ve been considering therapy and keep putting it off because you don’t want to become overwhelmed by your own emotions. You’re not sure you want to face the reality of your story to yourself, let alone with another person. After all, who can you trust?

It’s tempting to live in hiding from our pain…and yet here you are considering that maybe life could be different.

CAN THERAPY HELP?

It’s vulnerable to let ourselves imagine that life could be better when we’ve been plagued with pain.

Hope means letting yourself be seen. Some of us are too scared to let ourselves be seen…even by ourselves.

If you will dare to show up and allow yourself to learn to lower your walls of defenses and avoidance, I bet you’ll be surprised by what you find. I’m convinced you have more strength and resilience than you’ve let yourself see. My job is to help you discover what’s behind those walls.

As clients have learned to find their own voices, I have seen lives reclaimed and narratives shifted from hopelessness and fear to empowerment and freedom.

Therapy isn’t easy, but it’s transformative.